I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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