tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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