You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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