dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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