i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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