This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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