I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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