you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
