just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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