her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
