Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
