I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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