i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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