jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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