dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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