At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
