Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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