Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
