But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
