I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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