Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
