ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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