No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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