I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
