I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
