Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
