he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
