He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
