i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
