I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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