id be glad to
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
