he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
