Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
