At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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