id be glad to
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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