Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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