Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
