Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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