your room smells of hookers.
And success
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
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It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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