im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
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The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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