HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
