New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
