i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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