Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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