I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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