He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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