VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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