Michael Bay diarrhea
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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