no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
