Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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