What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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