WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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