we're blogging at a bar
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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